The circle of life

Carolyn, Sabina and Nick. On vacation in Wyoming in 1995

I came to NY as an au pair. I decided to be an au pair for a number of reasons.

1.  I went to work one day and looked at all the old ladies in the office and panicked. I loved my job but I was 22 and the thought of being there until retirement terrified me. So I got the urge to run which is hilarious as anyone who knows me, knows that I don't run anywhere! I sort of walk slowly at best.
2. I had traveled a lot and loved it. I had been to America 3 or 4 times. I had traveled the west coast and Florida but something about NY or Boston was appealing.
3. I had broken up with my boyfriend of 6 years. I was down in the dumps one minute and excited to exercise my freedoms the next. OK, so crossing the pond was a little extreme but did you ever know me to do any thing by half measures??? 
4. I didn't really know what I wanted to do with my life, so I decided to take a year out to try and figure it out. I had done a lot of babysitting and liked kids so, why not? I was only going to be gone a year. Right?

When the au pairs I work with tell me that they have the best host family in the world, I smile and shake my head and tell them  " No you don't, I have the best host family in the world"  Of course I am thrilled that my au pairs love their families and my hope for them is that they have an amazing year, just like I did.

I was supposed to be here a year and yet here I am sixteen years later. So, I have had the joy of seeing my host children grow up. Every time I see them I am blown away at how beautiful/handsome, tall and smart they are.

I am also reminded of how old I am and how quickly time passes. I went to Nick's graduation party tonight. Nick is 18 and graduating high school and will go off to college in the fall. Carolyn will turn 21 in a couple of weeks. Sometimes Carolyn babysits my kids. That always makes me smile and ... I guess this is what they call  'The circle of life'.  She is just one year shy of the age I was when I came to be her au pair.
They told me tonight that they read my blog, I had no idea but I hope they read this post.

Dear Carolyn & Nick, I want to let you know how much  I love you guys. Your parents opened up their home and hearts to me and changed my life forever and for that I am eternally grateful.  I am so proud of you both and hope you know just how important you all are to me and my family.

With love now and forever. From your first au pair Sabina.

                                                       Sabina, Nick & Carolyn 2010

How homesick will I be on Saturday?

I have lived here 16 years! 16! That's a long, long time and yet homesickness sneaks up on me every so often. There are triggers, I know when its coming and yet it doesn't make it any easier.

You would think that I consider NY to be my home but when I think of the word home, England is the only place I think of. Born in Spain, grew up in England, lived in the US 16 years, married here, bought a house here, had my children here and soon to become a citizen here and still my heart swells with English pride.

Don't get me wrong I love New York but.........

Here comes an event this week that will make me cry one way or another. The world cup. Just about everyone in England is raised watching, playing, and supporting football. No, I will not call it soccer!

Do I watch football all season long? No. I catch a game or two every once in a while on Fox sports or ESPN. Am I a die hard fan of any team? No but I do have a soft spot for my favorite team. Do I know all the stats? Nope!

But here's the thing: I do have the memories of my dad taking me to see our local team play every home game for the first 15 years of my life, and the memories of my teenage years spent in pubs drinking all day whilst watching England play. I remember where I was when we lost to Germany on penalties in 1990, I remember watching Argentina cheating us out of a final in 1986 and I even remember Spain hosting in 1982. There was always excitement surrounding the world cup.

4 years ago when the world cup came around I was distracted. There was no time to be homesick as I had just had Alex and he was still in the hospital. Every single game England played I had a good luck ritual. OK, so it didn't quite work seeing as we only got to the quarter finals. I used to dress Alex who was about 3 pounds at the time in the tiniest England onesie.

So, whats my plan this year? Well, I plan to surround myself with some English friends, massive amounts of wine, put my kids in their England shirts and hope that we win. If I am at home I know that my sister will call from her cell phone, in a loud London pub when Rooney scores so that I can hear the crowd roar. That will be the moment that I cry.

Even writing that last sentence was not easy. Note to myself: blogging is not good therapy for homesickness.

Every 4 years the English fans are filled with hope. We are lead to believe that this is our time and that we are the team to beat. I want to believe that it will happen this time. After all, I am rapidly approaching 40 and I have yet to see England win a world cup.

With a lump in my throat and hope in my heart I say "God save the Queen and God bless the England team!"