How homesick will I be on Saturday?

I have lived here 16 years! 16! That's a long, long time and yet homesickness sneaks up on me every so often. There are triggers, I know when its coming and yet it doesn't make it any easier.

You would think that I consider NY to be my home but when I think of the word home, England is the only place I think of. Born in Spain, grew up in England, lived in the US 16 years, married here, bought a house here, had my children here and soon to become a citizen here and still my heart swells with English pride.

Don't get me wrong I love New York but.........

Here comes an event this week that will make me cry one way or another. The world cup. Just about everyone in England is raised watching, playing, and supporting football. No, I will not call it soccer!

Do I watch football all season long? No. I catch a game or two every once in a while on Fox sports or ESPN. Am I a die hard fan of any team? No but I do have a soft spot for my favorite team. Do I know all the stats? Nope!

But here's the thing: I do have the memories of my dad taking me to see our local team play every home game for the first 15 years of my life, and the memories of my teenage years spent in pubs drinking all day whilst watching England play. I remember where I was when we lost to Germany on penalties in 1990, I remember watching Argentina cheating us out of a final in 1986 and I even remember Spain hosting in 1982. There was always excitement surrounding the world cup.

4 years ago when the world cup came around I was distracted. There was no time to be homesick as I had just had Alex and he was still in the hospital. Every single game England played I had a good luck ritual. OK, so it didn't quite work seeing as we only got to the quarter finals. I used to dress Alex who was about 3 pounds at the time in the tiniest England onesie.

So, whats my plan this year? Well, I plan to surround myself with some English friends, massive amounts of wine, put my kids in their England shirts and hope that we win. If I am at home I know that my sister will call from her cell phone, in a loud London pub when Rooney scores so that I can hear the crowd roar. That will be the moment that I cry.

Even writing that last sentence was not easy. Note to myself: blogging is not good therapy for homesickness.

Every 4 years the English fans are filled with hope. We are lead to believe that this is our time and that we are the team to beat. I want to believe that it will happen this time. After all, I am rapidly approaching 40 and I have yet to see England win a world cup.

With a lump in my throat and hope in my heart I say "God save the Queen and God bless the England team!"